Easing Back-to-School Anxiety – How to Help Your Child Feel Calmer About the New Term

As the long days of summer begin to shorten and the new school term edges closer, many children start to experience a quiet – or not-so-quiet – sense of dread. Back-to-school anxiety is common – especially after a long break filled with freedom, play, and less pressure.

Taking a moment to listen

For some children, it’s a flutter of worry in their tummy. For others, it might be sleepless nights, tearful mornings, or big meltdowns. And for parents, it can be heart-wrenching to watch.

At Alaria, we understand how sensitive these transitions can be – especially for neurodivergent children, those with social anxiety, or those who’ve had difficult school experiences in the past. Here are some gentle, practical ways to support your child as the summer holidays draw to a close.

1. Talk About It – Even If They Don’t Want To

Children often don’t have the words to express their anxiety clearly. Instead, they might say they hate school, complain of tummy aches, or act out.

Try opening up gentle conversations without pressure. You might say: “Lots of children feel a bit wobbly about going back to school. I wonder if there’s anything that’s making you feel that way?”

Validate their feelings. Avoid dismissing worries with “You’ll be fine!” Instead, reflect what you hear: “That does sound really hard. I can see why that might make you nervous.”

2. Prepare Practically – Without Overwhelming

Helping your child feel more in control can reduce anxiety. Here’s how:

• Do small back-to-school tasks together – like choosing a pencil case or packing a snack box

• Visit the school if possible – even just walking or driving past can help re-familiarise it

• Create a visual countdown – mark the days on a calendar or use a simple chart to ease uncertainty

3. Build Regulation Into the Day

Routines help children feel safe. As term time approaches, start easing into school-friendly sleep and wake times. Reintroduce structure with soft, regulating activities:

• Morning walks or garden play

• Quiet reading time after lunch

• Calming evening rituals like baths, stories, or gentle music

If your child struggles to regulate, co-regulate with them – sit close, breathe together, or hold a hand if they’re open to it.

4. Focus on Connection – Not Correction

In the days before school starts, children need your presence more than your pep talks. Carve out little windows of 1:1 time – even 10 minutes of play or cuddles on the sofa can be powerful.

Let them lead. Follow their play. Show them with your time: “I’m here, and you’re safe.”

5. Use Stories and Play to Explore Feelings

Play and metaphor can help children explore tricky emotions without feeling exposed. Try:

• Drawing or naming their worries (e.g. “Wiggly Worm Worry” or “The Back-to-School Butterflies”)

• Using toys or puppets to act out a first day

• Reading books about school transitions

Stories make big feelings feel less lonely – and can offer your child a sense of safety and hope.

A Final Thought

If your child is struggling with back-to-school worries, you are not alone – and neither are they. These feelings are a completely normal response to change.

Whether they’re starting a new school or returning to a familiar one, what matters most is knowing they are held – in love, in understanding, and in connection.

And if things feel too big to manage alone, support is available. Therapeutic play, nature-based sessions, and safe spaces to explore emotions can make a world of difference.

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At Alaria CIC, we specialise in supporting neurodivergent (or potentially neurodivergent) children and offer child-centred support in a beautiful natural setting – from small Therapeutic Forest School groups of a maximum of 8 children, to individual play therapy. Find out more at www.alaria.uk.